change pronouns & phrases to suit your needs ♥

• “ He said he’d cut me up into little pieces and hide me under the floorboards. ”
• ” I think I killed a duck! “
• ” He fancies you. he told me. ”
• ” Are we having duck? Delicious! “
• “ I wanna be with her more, I wanna be with her all the time, and I wanna tell her things I don’t even tell you. ”
• ” I don’t want her to have another boyfriend. I suppose if I could have all those things, I wouldn’t really mind if I touched her or not. ”
• ” The thing is, a person’s life is like a TV show. “
• ” If you’re only two people, and someone drops off the edge, then you’re on your own. “
• ” And there I was killing them softly with my song. Or rather being killed. And not so softly either. “
• ” Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in. “
• ” He’s expressing YOU! ”
• ” Oh, please, just shut up. You’re wounding my soul. “
• ” It was terrible! Terrible! But driving really fast behind the ambulance was fantastic! “
• ” Me, I didn’t mean anything. About anything, to anyone. And I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life. ”
• ” I am an island. I am bloody Ibiza! “
• ”  ‘Shake your Ass’… is he Moroccan? “
• ”  Having been the Good Guy, I didn’t relish going back to my usual role of the Unreliable, Emotionally Stunted Asshole. “
• ” A hundred years ago, for example, you had to depend on other people. No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or home espresso makers. As a matter of fact they didn’t have anything cool. ”
• ” No. No. You’ve always had that wrong. I really am this shallow. “
• ” I’ll tell you one thing. Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut my own penis off with a kitchen knife. “
• ” Just… just be as normal as you can, alright? “
• ” What’s the difference between a girl who’s your friend and a girlfriend? “ 
• “ I mean, like, I want to be with her more. I want to be with her all the time.”
• ” After a few visits, he seemed to think he had to ask me serious questions, when I knew he really wanted to watch Xena Warrior princess. ”
• ” No. No, you’re not a bad mother. You’re just a barking lunatic. ”
• ” She couldn’t stay at my place, and she didn’t have a DVD, or satellite, or cable. “
• ” Did you read the part where I said I’d always love you? “
• ” It’s a bit hard for you to love me when you’re dead, isn’t it? “
• ” No, I do not want to come over for Christmas. I do not want to spend Christmas with Ms. Granola Suicide and her spawn. “
• ” You don’t give a shit about anyone and no one gives a shit about you! “
• ” November the sodding 19th… Six weeks before Christmas and already they were playing the bloody thing. “
• ” We’re poor, you’re rich, you pay. ”
• ” If your dad goes out with my mum, you’re gonna be dead, really dead. “